White House Announces Server Name Punishment
SANTIAGO, Chile (AP) - Speaking before attending the APEC summit, United States President George W Bush announced his administration's new policies directing the Department of Homeland Security to impose restrictions on the availability of great-named World of Warcraft servers for those living on the Pacific Coast. "Look," said the President, "those guys along the pacific rim all were voted in a direction that was not right with the rest of the goals of the United States. So I am taking steps today to ensure that they do not get their hands on any materials that they should not have." As leaders from other nations bordering the Pacific looked on, the President displayed a chart showing available server names, emphasizing the name benefits of those in eastern half of the country. "I won a lot of capital in the last election from my supporters in those stats, and I intend to spend that capital. And the first step is to secure our playing experience with the best sounding server names. Khadgar, Zul'jin, Durotan , Argent Dawn. What a great name. We should use that for an upcoming action somewhere. Good reminders of Vietnam." The President's aids later clarified he was referring perhaps to Agent Orange, the powerful defoliant.
Reactions from other leaders were mixed. Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin stated, "well, at least those living in our neighbor to the south have their own servers."